Sometimes you just gotta go! This seven year journey to uncover, unpack, find understanding and develop into the man I’ve always known I could be (and thought I was for a long time) has been awesome, scary, crazy, sad, frustrating, challenging and yet 100% rewarding!
Yes, it’s like opening pandora’s box but once it’s open, the only way out is through and through it, I have gone!
HERE ARE SOME QUESTION’S I’VE ASKED MYSELF…
Are people telling you that you are a certain way that doesn’t line up with how you feel about yourself?
Do you get easily offended if someone says something negative about you?
Are you short tempered or short fused?
Do you feel generally frustrated or aggravated by things? Are you often annoyed?
Do you feel like there is a disconnect between who you are (your intentions) and the actions or behaviors you have?
Is your mind always somewhere else?
Do you have feelings of guilt, shame, doubt, or worry?
Do you know how you feel or what feelings are most prevalent?
Do you feel like everything is a task or a “to do list”?
Do you feel like you’re never completing things, or feeling like you are failing or letting everyone around you down?
Often inundated with the need to be better… better at work, better at home, better at the gym, better everywhere, but what does better look like? Is it a destination? Is it an amount of money? Is it a specific goal you have? Then what? Back to better?
I think the issue has been that when it comes to self-development work from our prospectives (or at least mine for a long time) that all of that woo woo stuff is for soft people or that if we opened pandoras box we would loose our edge, our ability to operate or not be ready when “the moment comes.” So instead, we wind ourselves tight believing that all the stuff we are carrying will give us what we need.
Well… I’ve opened the box, I’ve gone through the fire and I have now emerged on the other side. It’s safe. We’re good. No edge lost, no oohy goey mess of slobbering shit that can’t perform when its game time.
Matter of fact… what I have discovered is that it’s the complete opposite! At least for me. A while back on the episode with Phil McKernan we talked about becoming “soft” after doing the work and he made a point that i think I lost in the moment but realized later.
It is possible that some of you may see that this life, this work, this commitment isn’t for you. That it’s not inline with your core being AND that’s ok! Maybe you’ve been doing it because you felt you needed to or should or whatever and taking on the deeper work shows you a different path. If that happens there’s no shame or guilt with that, it’s ok! If that’s what is coming up for you then you need to also realize you’re likely more susceptible to the negative aspects of the job.
But for those of you that find alignment, this side of the ocean is pretty badass. There is so much freedom and so much settled power that you will find a peaceful resolve that will enable you to push the limits, operate with distinct clarity and transition through each moment. It will let you be fully you in every way in every world. That may sound a little hokey but it is the absolute truth.
Key Take aways:
- No ONE thing works
- It’s Every moment of Every Day
- You won’t get it at 7-11
Do real work and be clear about what YOU want to get out of it. Exploration, Purposeful, Intentional, Why?
It’s a process which is part of the process
Don’t be afraid to let it Marinate!
Be in Discovery
Presence – REAL PRESENCE – is the gateway to unparalleled performance
HERE’S THE TRANSCRIPT FROM THE SHOW
All right. Welcome back to mindset radio. I’m your host, Jeff Banman. And today it is you and I and we are going to look at what happens when you open Pandora’s box. And today, you know, what I want to do is kind of in this first episode back from our break is really take a look at this whole world of self development, personal growth, all this stuff. You know, because if you’re listening and for those of you that listen regularly, you know, that’s, that’s what we’re doing here ultimately. And you know, I feel like it’s been for me a journey to really begin to see and unpack and uncover, you know, can we do these things? Can we grow ourselves? Can we heal old traumas, heal old wounds, um, shift how we are functionally, internally, mentally and emotionally and still operate at the level that we need to operate and deal with what we need to deal with day in and day out.
Like I, I feel like a lot of times in our community it’s, there’s been a big wall between those two things. That discovery of yourself or dealing with things or looking at things or getting support or getting therapy or whatever it might be, would somehow soften us in a way that then would render us incapable of operating at the level we need to operate at or doing the things we need to do or, you know, taking on the mission that we need to take on. And you know, in a, in, in a, in a moment, right, that we would break, that we would not be able to pull the trigger or execute or do we need to do that somehow? This new world that we’ve discovered would impede our ability to perform. And so I was curious. Right? Um, I’m highly curious, is that the case?
Is that real? Is that a valid idea? And so for the really, the past, I don’t know, it’s been a long time, but actively like actively taking it on, probably about the past seven years have been diving into this world. One for myself, right? And a lot of ways to look at, uh, what’s been going on, how to grow and improve as a human being. And, uh, as a man and a father and, you know, a husband and whatever it might be, right? How can eyes up son is a brother. Um, how can I be great for the people around me? How can I be great operationally, uh, you, even though I don’t necessarily do that anymore, but still, right, it’s there. And so the question becomes, you know, is this, does this, this world, if I creep over into this other space that may have been perceived as hippy dippy or mystical or weird or whatever, uh, does that then, you know, separate me from the pack or the herd or the tribe?
Does it create a disconnect between what I’m capable of and what I’m not? And, uh, in this show, what I really want to be able to do is give you the answer that says it doesn’t, it actually is the complete opposite. Uh, it actually enhances our ability to operate because when we look at it, we’re able to remove some real deep dyed barriers that probably a lot of us don’t have a core awareness of, um, that often stand in our way or bring or a catalyst to a greater impact of our worlds and our life and in the lives that we’ve chosen. And so throughout today, that’s what I want to share with you, right? Is this, this place of, I feel like for me, it’s been a place of extreme growth over these last few years. And you know, I don’t have an answer yet on, you know, where you start and what you do and how you go about it.
Cause I’m, there’s anything I’ve learned, we are all so individualized. Uh, some things will work for others. Others won’t work for some, you know what I mean? So I don’t know what the plan is or what the route is for you in particular. Um, but there are some core components that I want to impart to you that, you know, if you come to the place where you’re willing to take it on or you’re willing to look or you’re willing to explore, you know, if your like for me, I mean, I’ll share with ya. Like what were some of the core things that I’ve, I felt previous in my life or how I operate in some ways, you know, and, and I’ve talked about in the show before, you know, I had a conversation with him, the other standard, he’s like, when people were like, Oh, you’re so angry all the time.
No, I’m not. And I would get pissed and angry at people calling me angry. And you know, internally, I never would say I’m an angry guy or I’m upset or I’m frustrated or I’m agitated now. Yet through the work coming to see, wow, the level of anxiety I live with day in and day out is huge. Which then triggers this, this, this level of frustration or irritation or annoyance or what aggravation that just lives right. 24, seven, um, that I was not fully connected to. Right. I knew it was there, but I felt like I could like bully over it, um, and which didn’t work. All right, which doesn’t work. And so, you know, that was one of the big things. Maybe somebody would say something negative to me or negative about me. Right. Easily offended around it. A pretty short tempered. I had new space, you know, we talked about that in season one with Elliot Roe and a look at laying down anger, uh, you know, super short fused trooper, super short tempered around things.
Just no capacity, uh, to really deal with anything that I wasn’t prepared for or wasn’t in line with my work or whatever it might be. Um, you know, and just those general feelings of kind of almost being disconnected. I explained it to somebody the other day of, of like a feeling like there’s this internal place of how I see myself and how much I care and how much I love people and love being around people. But then there’s like this brick wall to the big side of me, which is kind of the standoffish shutdown, isolated. Um, not a lot of contact, kind of cold individual. And in those two were always at conflict and always at battle and always fighting each other. And then what would trigger there were these deep seated persistent States of guilt or shame or doubt or worry or self doubt. Um, and you know, never healthy and you know, and I’ve really learned that even having conversations with people, even connecting with people like my, my internal mechanisms of shame and guilt and all that crap would overpower what the conversation was or, you know, if I screwed something up, it had to be bigger than it was.
I couldn’t just be like, Oh, well, you know, I totally fucked that up and you know, sorry. Uh, and you know, I’ll learn my lesson and go on with it next time. I mean, it was like this, this really crazy cycle of stuff. And you know, we’re going to do an episode where we talk about the difference of biology and psychology and we’re going to break down some of the programming that’s out there and the things that are out there and talk therapy versus other stuff. We’re going to kind of start to dive deep into those areas, you know, over the next few months in some ways and hit it in a couple of different shows and got some great people to come on and talk about this stuff. Because here’s been the interesting trajectory for me. So I would say I started in more of the talk therapy world and some of them more of the, you know, advanced self development programs that are out there.
Um, and if you want to know more specifics, you can reach out to me privately, uh, because I believe there’s good and bad in all of it. And, um, you know, there’s some really solid things that are out there if taken on and used appropriately, uh, that help kind of walk down this chain of events. And so, you know, years ago you go to what you, you know, your friends are doing the people around you are doing, you take a look at some things. I got involved in some work, um, that I really did help build some mental constructs and some mental models, uh, to begin to quote unquote logically make sense of things. Uh, and you know, begin to put things in perspective or get a new view or understand certain things a certain ways, which was great, highly beneficial, right? Highly beneficial and definitely necessary.
But what it didn’t do was touched down into the body, right? It didn’t touch down into sensation feeling. It did not, you know, it, Zara, matter of fact, it was kind of counter that it was, don’t feel anything. Feelings are bad. Uh, and very much rooted in this old mentality that, you know, the mind powers all. Um, and I hate to break it to you. It doesn’t, uh, you know, like the great Buddhist said, right? Monkeys and elephants were just, uh, bodies, a big Indian elephant trying to be controlled by a bunch of monkeys sitting on top. Uh, and the elephants bigger, stronger, and will always win. And so that’s really representative of our body in these deep seated feelings that we have grown over time with. Uh, I recently read a book last year, which I highly recommend I’ll put up in the show notes for this one.
I think I’ve talked about it before. Uh, but you know, called breaking the habit of yourself by Joe Dispenza, phenomenal book, uh, heavy science upfront. Um, but, but beautifully orchestrated. And Louis, he really breaks down the difference between mental constructs and kind of the thoughts that we have about ourselves versus the biological aspects that have been developed over our lives. Right. Uh, chemical cocktails and chemical components that have occurred based off the conditions as they were. Right. Whether that was a heightened state of fear or whether that was, you know, heavy shame or heavy guilt like that, those feelings exist in us and our body, you know, that that becomes familiar at some point in time. That becomes, you know, I look back how I got love growing up was when I was guilty of something, when I felt shameful that I did something wrong, you know, um, I would take a wooden spoon to my mom and say, Hey, I, you know, broke the window.
You need to spank me. Right? And, uh, and I grew up in a very structured religious environment, you know, which filled, you know, was full of be shameful or be guilt BL and come ask for forgiveness and come be these things. And that’s what I grew up with. So that’s what I knew. So that’s what I connected to love and affection was I needed to feel this way to get that. Um, and that’s not a, that’s not a narrative running, that’s not like a conscious level. Oh, I’m going to go out and do something so I can feel guilty so that then I can get love. Like it wasn’t, that wasn’t the thing running. Um, it was, it was subconscious. Right. It was running in the background. It was an open app that’s been running for pretty much my entire life. Uh, that said, do these sayings so that you can be this way so you can get this thing.
And I think that’s been right. That’s, that’s why I say we opened Pandora’s box because it’s like, you know, so often we deal with kind of the surface knowns currently in the area. So you have like, uh, the, the known things, the things you know and can see and everything else. And you know, some of the programs we’ll talk about blind spots and those are the things you don’t know that you don’t even know. Uh, and that’s an interesting statement in of itself. And what I would challenge you with in this world is there’s a lot of things that you don’t know that you don’t even know that are running the show, that are running the backgrounds that are, um, kind of open programs that are, are, are creating the worlds around us, right? Subconsciously creating the worlds around us to be a certain way so that we can feel a certain way so that we can get a certain thing.
Uh, it’s been, I almost feel like I’m talking in circles a little bit, but that’s the way it’s going. Right? That’s the way it’s gone. And so, you know, to step into a world where you begin to unpack and uncover and look at yourself in different ways can be scary. Uh, cause you may not like what you find. I didn’t, I’ll be straight with you. Listen, these past seven years, while it has been phenomenal in so many ways, it has been excruciating in a lot of ways. I mean, uh, I feel like a 45 I’m finally waking up. Like I’m a, I got woken up from this deep sleep, uh, forever, that, and you know, I don’t necessarily like who I’ve been or how I’ve been in a lot of ways. Um, there’s been, I can look back now, honestly, actually now I can look back and be like, Oh, I was a total asshole or I was a total jerk there.
Or dude, that was a dickish thing to do and I don’t need now to feel that shame and guilt or anything else. You can just look at it for what it was, which is magnificent. So here’s what I want to tell you. The road ahead is not easy, hyper challenging, ridiculously challenging, but so valuable, so incredibly amazing. And so freeing that today I feel like if I was to step back into my own world today, I, I it, there would be no question about it. Like, I am so free of so much garbage that I wouldn’t have to worry about anything, you know, other people’s judgment or moral injury or self-driven shame or self-loathing or not good enough or, uh, you know, constantly failing or, you know, not being good enough or having to always compete or always having to be better at this or always having to do these things.
Like all these things that I fought against for so many years, you know, and, and along the way prevented me from really excelling, you know, not having any of that stuff today. Whatever, what do you need me to do? Cool, let’s do it. You know, no big deal. Um, because there isn’t that stuff about it. So that’s what I really want you to understand is that on the other side, I feel like I’m feel like I’m the Guinea pig, right? On the other side of the madness is, is so much freedom, uh, that it’s incredible that it’s truly incredible. And I kind of, I don’t want to be able to validate that for you because there is a lot of bullshit out there. There’s a lot of crap out there, and I feel like it taints the opportunity to really do some solid work in some ways.
And so, you know, I, it’s partly why I went dark for a few weeks, right? Kind of in this, just in these last few weeks, it felt like I felt like I jumped off the cliff, felt like I made this final leap in some ways into a spot where now work can begin. Um, if that makes sense to you. And you know, one of the things I realized was I’d really taxed myself. I mean, I’d put a lot of expectations on myself. I had put a lot of work carrying the soul. You know, I’m the lone survivor carrying the freaking all the gear and equipment for myself, doing everything, um, was maxed. And, uh, my commitment to you is not to be a little bit more responsible about that. Communicate that. And if we need to take a break, we’ll just take a break for a few weeks because you know, a lot of you reached out to check in.
Uh, thank you for that. I greatly appreciate that. A lot of love and support throwing this way from the community and I really, I so appreciate that. Um, but you know, it’s time to be back in channels. It’s time to be back working and back producing and doing solid stuff. Um, but I realized that a lot of times what I wouldn’t do is give myself that break. Like I would feel guilty that I wasn’t, you know, on the air producing a podcast week in and week out, and then I would feel shameful about that. And then blah, blah, blah. Right. How’d you just do this whole blue thing that I would do? And so I really had to come to a place where I was like, wait a minute, I don’t have this space or capacity for this right now. Where is my attention needed? What do I need to do?
So a lot of internal healing going on here over the last few weeks. A lot of internal work going on from my end and then some just some real focus on the foundation itself and um, really working there to make sure that the programs were pushing out and delivering are solid. That we can reach our community this year, that I can serve you in a greater way. And so there were some time and attention that needed to be spent there. Um, but as it sits today, I’m busting my butt, create the team around, um, uh, cranking on some, hopefully you have some interns in here shortly to help with production of this show. Uh, and a few other things and uh, stacking things up and actually setting myself up here. Uh, so that I’m supported and you are supported. So one, I want you to say thank you for your patience and your kindness and your generosity, um, that you’ve shown over the past few weeks.
I greatly appreciate it. And, uh, and we’ll try to keep that drop-offs to a minimum. And if so, they’ll always be communicated. So that’d be, and said kind of back to, you know, back to this idea. This is part of it, right? This is actually part of this growth in this world of growth. I mean, forever. I felt like I never, you know, would complete things for, I was always failing and could see where I just set myself up in those conditions. And, you know, as we start to, uh, reinvigorate and bring this a hundred day program back online, those are some of the core things we’re going to be dealing with. Um, you know, as we move forward. And so it’s, uh, it’s been an interesting journey. I mean it has been, uh, from looking at, uh, childhood trauma, uh, from looking at just, uh, patterns of behavior and the way I grew up, uh, the influences around me, uh, then into the communities that I’ve served.
Um, all the way up into today. It is been, uh, it’s been a lot to unpack and uncover. So if you’re a young listener starting out, please, it’s why start now. So you’re not sitting at 4,500 to unpack 45 years of stuff. Um, but I really think that, uh, you know, when we look at this, it’s exciting right now cause I feel like you as a community are finally in a spot where you’re curious where you’re open to this conversation, where you want to understand how these factors work, what happens, how it can improve your job and your life. Um, because I often feel like we are, you know, had this understanding where we are. Like, we’re caught between two worlds. You know, we some so many times where we’re caught in a place where, you know, we live in this operational world that requires a lot and requires a very certain way of being and conditions to operate successfully with.
And then, you know, we have the rest of our life in this other side of the world, which none of those conditions really matter. Uh, none of that way of being matters. You know, I’ve said for years, you know, your kids don’t need firemen or cop or a Navy seal, you know, they need a dad or do they need a mom? Um, so I think the, where we get stuck is kind of plant firmly in the middle of these two worlds and we’re never really in one or the other. And that’s the exploration. It’s like how do I be fully present and fully capable in my work life and then how do I be fully present and fully capable in the rest of my life and experience those two worlds for all that they have to offer. Um, and I think that’s where we’re going, right?
That’s where this discovery has taken us into this place of understanding how I can do that. Because you can do that now. There is a place for it because when we’re caught between the two, we’re being pulled by both equally at the same time. And then we’re never present in one or the other. And that’s where we start to break down. And it’s, you know, I feel like some of it’s unfortunate because, you know, everything’s kind of been seen as like the ooey gooey woo hippy dippy stuff for so long. Um, that now with the backing of science and, uh, the actual evidence that exists around, uh, some of the practices that we talk about, you know, they’d say undisputable now. So the question is, how do I get there? How do you get there? How do we get there? How do we get to a place where you know, we can do what we need to do and be home and live a full, wonderful, amazing life.
Not wait to the end of our career and not wait till we hang up our uniform. Uh, not wait for these moments. Like today have this place. And so, you know, it is, you’ve got to go through it, right? I mean, I think that’s the challenge. Like what, what is it and what do we need to do? And you know, I mean, the things I want you to understand is there’s no one thing that’s going to work in this realm. There’s no one solution that is going to transform you from where you are today to where you really want to be or could be or don’t even know you could be. Uh, that’s, that’s just a fact. You know, for me it’s a combination of, uh, talk therapy, mental constructs, trauma, healing, energy work, understanding the body, getting Intune with how the bodies experiences sensation, uh, understanding how to be hyper present, how to be present in the conditions around you.
Uh, so no one thing works. There’s not one solution out there and anybody that tries to tell you that fucking the bird down a pack sand, uh, tell them to call me. They’re full of it. There’s not one thing that’s going to work. Um, and so, you know, this is an experimental process because it’s so individualized. Uh, you know, if you really want to know my thoughts on some specific things, you can ask me anytime you can reach out to me. If you’re looking at something or you’re looking at a technology or you’re looking at a program, um, or you’re struggling to find something seriously, just reach out. I will give you my straight and honest opinion of all of it. Um, and how then it kind of formulates out over time. Uh, so no problem with that. So that’s one thing, right? No one thing works.
Number one, top of the list too. It’s going to be in every moment of every day kind of thing, right? It’s going to rise and fall. There’s going to be great moments where you feel, uh, totally, you know that you’ve discovered something new, you’ll feel amazing. This euphoria comes about where you’re like, wow, I really see this for the first time and now I can do something about it. That’s not a point to stop that you keep pushing because what I will share with you when you begin to do this, the ups and downs will come. Like there will be way super high highs and there will be some really low lows. And that’s okay. As long as you are creating space around you, you are in communication with people around you. And you know, that’s coming. Like nobody told me that was coming. Nobody told me that, uh, I, you know, would do these things and feel fantastic and a couple months later would feel like total shit, you know?
Uh, I feel like I was sold a little bit of bag of goods in some ways. And it’s why I say no one thing works. Uh, because early on in starting it was like, Nope, this is the thing. This is the thing you do. And kind of got channeled into that a little bit and quickly realized, wait a minute, there’s something wrong here. There’s something missing, there’s more to this. So that’s a big piece that I want you to understand and every day, right? And it doesn’t have to be, it doesn’t have to be heavy. It doesn’t have to be this deep stuff all the time. That’ll come. They’ll come some points, they’ll come, some realizations, there’ll be sadness, there’ll be joy, there’ll be pain. Uh, there’ll be all these sayings, but it doesn’t have to be heavy and weighted all the time. It just doesn’t have to be that way.
And you know, some days you’ll need to take a break from it. Sometimes you’ll need to take a break from it. I mean, over those last seven years, you know, I’ve taken a year long break from it. Uh, at times I’ve had to take a sabbatical from quote unquote working on myself or doing programs or doing something because it just, it can be too much at times. So, you know, know that going in, know that stepping into this, that if you need a break, you know, listen to yourself, listen to what you need, but understand the difference between listening to what you need and resisting pushing through something. So big difference there. Big difference there because the resistance will come. The elephant wants what’s familiar and what’s familiar is the way that you’ve been forever. And so you will create the world in ways unknowingly to return you to that place.
So know that. And that just kind of brings me into my third kind of key point, which is, you know, kind of touched on it, but you’re not going to get this at seven 11. This is not an overnight fix. You’re not going to cure yourself in three days, in a weekend or three days in an evening. You’re not going to cure yourself in a week long seminar. Um, you know, or a 10 week seminar or a six month seminar. It’s not going to happen. You’re not going to go into one thing, get something, learn something and all of a sudden come out the other end and be like, poof, I’m good. It doesn’t happen that way. You will have tremendous insight. You will have tremendous Epiphanes. You will see things you’ve never seen before. You will feel elated about certain things and life will come back into play.
And so what I’ve learned like my year this year is about integration, is about taking everything that I’ve learned in everything that I’ve done and everything that I’ve experienced and each and every day. What is the action to that, to that, to that insight, if you will? Um, what is the process that I need to implement? Is that a breathing practice? Do I need to be present right now? Do I need you to just pause in my day right now and take a second? Um, you know, really in touch with my body and the sensation. Do I feel nervous right now? Why? Well, cause I’ve had too many cups of coffee this morning and I’m on my fasting programs. I haven’t eaten. So yeah, because there’s nothing, there’s nothing else in my present world that would be causing any level of nervousness or anxiety or any of that other stuff.
So I’ve created some good nations that, you know, leave that sensation there. Okay, cool. That’s what it is, you know? Or do I feel shameful about something right now? Do I feel guilty about something right now? Do I feel frustrated or anxious or irritated and then I’m able to check and see and if it’s okay, then it’s okay. You know what I mean? It’s like, yeah, I can be frustrated right now. You know, the asshole in front of me just cut me off. Yes, I’m frustrated. Okay, cool. Be frustrated. And then you will see that it will just kind of magically dissipate on its own. Like when you give your body the freedom to experience what it needs to experience and reality check that you can either do something about it or it will just dissipate. So, you know, there’s, there’s so much in the equation here and, and I honestly feel like there’s so much inundation now of it need to be resilient.
You need to do this stuff and you need to do that. It almost becomes its own list and its own task and its own to do, you know? And for a long time, I mean people around me saying, Hey Jeff, you know, maybe you should look to this. Well what do you know? You know, you’re not inside me. You don’t know a huge resistance to it because I didn’t have the awareness of mine’s like I wasn’t walking around with a mirror or recording myself. And if I looked back today and I’d always laugh, like if I could just play my life back on TV, I’d be like, do flooded Zurich, you know, at times. Uh, how could you not see that? Uh, so it’s been exciting and awesome to do this, to open up Pandora’s box, to dig in to find a place of clean. But, but I’m telling you, it takes some work and it may not be for you right now.
Right. And that’s okay. So I think the other piece to this is you see in this self-development world, you see this place where you know, becomes like this self flagellation like this, just this beating yourself up constantly. Oh, I got to do this. Or Oh, I’m so screwed up. Or, Oh and I need to, I need to go do this program so I feel better or I need to, you know, look at this thing and you know, you find these people and it’s like, no, you do you in your course in time. You know, I’m a firm believer that I think the first layer to opening the box, opening Pandora’s box is a first step in self-awareness is simply just recognizing that, you know, there might be some shit there you need to deal with and just be with that, be with that for like the next 30 days.
Because I promise you if you could just be with it, you’ll start to see stuff clearly that will begin to show up and you’ll start to be like, Oh, maybe I am that. Or maybe I could work on that. You know, maybe I’m not super connected right now. Maybe I am totally checked out on my phone. Um, you know, why am I not sitting close to my partner right this second? Why am I not hugging my wife when I come in the door? Why am I not, you know, giving my husband a kiss when he leaves for work in the morning or whatever. Like what is in my way around that? What is, why am I isolating myself, you know? Um, because we do, we do in little tiny, sneaky ways that we don’t even notice. Um, yeah, it’s cause we’re frustrated by whatever. [inaudible] okay, let’s look a little bit deeper there.
And that’s the path. So, you know, one, I want to be encouraging for you because there’s a lot in this world and you know, what I’ve seen is there’s also a lot where like that becomes the thing, that discovery and the, Oh, I was this and the all I was at and let me share this. And then we have like this mutual bonding around the crap. Um, and I don’t think that’s super healthy either. So, you know, I think crossing through this threshold, my commitment to you is to share my experiences of my life. What I’ve seen or have grown in ways that add to your life, not necessarily mirror your life, if that makes sense. Like the, the, Hey, you know, I could see X, Y, and Z and yeah, that sucks, but here’s the path to the other side of that. Here was my path to the other side of that.
And then this is what the other side looks like. So I feel like, I feel like the break was phenomenal because so much occurred over that time. But I also feel like I’m on the other side of things now. Like I get to look back now in ways that I couldn’t previously and share with you what it is like on the other side after opening Pandora’s box, after letting all the stuff out. Because let me tell ya, all this stuff has been coming out. Um, and it’s crazy and awesome and, and good and a lot of ways. And so I think that’s, you know, those are things, it’s like, I like to say just you sometimes you just gotta let stuff marinade. And I feel like the older, the older we are, the longer that may have to take place. You know, we all want a rapid fix, a solution to something, a way to fix ourselves.
Um, and a lot of people pray on that and pick up on that and there is no one quick easy answer to it. And so it is a constant daily aspect of being in discovery, uh, of, of what, what you’re doing right? Just just spend the days looking at your actions, at your interactions, at your communication, at your thought patterns, at your feelings. That’s it. Just look, just kind of be curious, be in discovery, what’s going on but that begin to guide where you need to go and how you need to communicate and what maybe you do need to take a look at. Um, cause here’s the deal, right? As we get through all this stuff, this, this is fundamentally for our community about being able to completely without remorse, operate at the level we need to operate, like to execute on our job, our task, our mission with such authority and efficiency and, and clean, right?
I like to use the word clean because clean means I’m free of anything, any of the self impose restrictions. Go with that. What will somebody think about this or, you know, it’s like we’ve talked about on the show before, you know, if I say, you know, I spent, you know, whatever, however long in Baghdad, I’m sorry you had to be there. Why, why are you sorry, I had to be there. Why can’t you say, wow, cool. Hey, thanks for taking that on and actually acknowledge me in a way that you actually show some measure of appreciation for the work that I put out. Right. Um, you know, rather than this passive hate that, well, thanks for your service. Why don’t we, you know, you know, I feel about that too and I’m getting better on that one. Uh, but yeah, I mean, it’s like I don’t need to sit with people’s judgment of what I’ve done, who I am, where I’ve been successful, where I failed.
Uh, you know, where I’ve been great, where I’ve been awful, but it just, you know, none of that stuff is necessary. Now. I can look at my wins and my losses, my successes and my failures clean. Um, I can look at my decisions clean. I could go out and operate and do things clean because, you know, there’s no, there’s nothing in the way of it. I’m not carrying all that ruck sack full of, uh, morality or, you know, judgment or fear of not being good enough or not making the cut or not operating at the level or not being as good as that person. Uh, or not having that person’s experience. I think I said to my mom a couple of weeks ago when I was in, uh, back home and I said, for the first time, I feel like I’m 45. Like I feel my age and experience.
I’ve, if I’ve ever shared this or not, but forever I feel like the young unexperienced kid in the room, I always feel like there’s someone better, even if they’re 20 years younger than me. I, I for some reason, like I subconsciously make myself less than that. Uh, and you know, so what’s on the other side of this? Just a new level of confidence, right? Of capability. You know, we’d go back to that. C3 I talk about that comfort, confidence, creativity, man. You want to talk about feeling like those things are zinging on a regular basis. Trump all the other garbage. So I wish there were some different words for it. I wish there was not the um, crap around it. I can’t think of the word to use right this minute, but kind of the, you know, the mystique or the, you know, kind of around some of the idea of doing work on yourself or taking things on because the same things that inhibit you in one place will inhibit you in another because you are the person in those places, right?
The same thing that inhibits you from being freed up with your kids or being present with your family or whatever it might be over here is he’s, he’s hitting you in a different capacity in work, right? The same thing. He’s showing up differently in your operational capacity. And so there is this unification of this thing that comes into play that is so hypercritical and that’s where my commitment is to really help navigate that road. Um, and I hope that you’re able to use the show as you do your own work or you do your own stuff as a point of integration, as a thought process. Um, you know, as a capacity to maybe dive a little bit, um, and do these things. I mean, I’ve thought about, you know, us doing some group work or maybe getting on a group call, you know, if that would be a value to anybody.
Um, I think sharing a mutual experiences and you know, where we all are is huge. And that’s really where I’d like to start. I know I’ve been pretty dormant in the mindset radio, Facebook group. I think that’s where I’d really like to point that group is kind of a place safe place that we can actually get together and uh, look at things collectively, uh, whether that’s in the work of self-development or at home or operationally. Right. Um, the challenges we have with the people around us, our leadership, the people that we lead, uh, all of those things because from my travels, you know, it’s kinda, we all are running up against the same barriers in the same um, stuff day in and day out. And so I really would like to cultivate a community where we can learn from each other in a very structured way, in a way that helps us not only get a point of insight, but then really move that into an actionable process because that’s who we are.
Right. And I think that’s, I think now that I’m thinking now I’m saying it and that’s one of the things that has kept us distant from some of this self development work because we don’t understand the action behind it. We don’t understand where it, where it lies in value for us operationally. Because I think in truth for the majority of us, I don’t want to speak for everybody. For me, this is true. I know this is true for others, just through conversation and interviewing and everything else is that we get this sense that if it didn’t, if it doesn’t support us operationally or if it didn’t get us through buds or it didn’t get us through ranger school or it didn’t get us, you know, through the SWAT tryouts or you know, the technical rescue team, if it didn’t help us achieve our quote unquote objective operationally, then it’s unnecessary or it may inhibit us or it may slow us down.
Um, or it may impact us negatively in those ways. And so part of my role is I want to be a reassurance. It’s not going to, it’s actually the opposite. Um, and I’m going to say that time and time again, uh, and you know, there is huge value in that. So I want to be able to have a community where we can actually talk about those things. So if you think that would work for you or you’d like to participate in that, um, hop into the Facebook group, let me know. Send up a red star cluster. Be like, yes, please. Can we do this? Um, you know, we can structure out a time and whoever makes the call makes the call. We can do Facebook lives, um, and do questions. Uh, you know, we can do it any way we want to do it. What are the community we get to decide.
So do me a favor, if that’s something that would actually interest you, send me a note, let me know. Um, uh, you know, cause I don’t want to just spin my wheels here, put a bunch of stuff out there that you know, isn’t valuable cause I’m too busy. You’re too busy. We’re all too busy. We got too much shit going on in life, um, to have another thing. But if that’s something, uh, monthly calls or something, that would be interesting. Um, we can do it. Uh, we can set up zoom time, we can do it however we’re willing to do it. And I’m happy to support the community that way because there’s anything positioning wise for me to you. I would like to help you along the way in the ways I can help you. Um, so if there’s something you need, please don’t hesitate to ask.
All right, let me check my notes here. See if I kinda hit everything that, uh, that I wanted to hit on today. Uh, and know the shows. I think we got some really good stuff coming up for you. Uh, I know February I had planned to highlight some companies. Uh, I’ve got a couple coming up here over the next few weeks. We’re going to drop in kind of in the course of the podcast, uh, rather than necessarily segmenting them a month since I took my high hiatus and, um, uh, when AWOL for a little bit. So restructuring a few things, uh, but getting right back on track, uh, getting into some good conversations, got some neat stuff coming up for ya. Uh, and then on Thursday what we’re going to do is another episode I really want to dive into kind of in this vein, just you and I again, uh, more than likely, uh, we’re going to talk about the, the, the difference between the mind and the body, right?
And kind of the battle between those is I think that’s going to set the stage for some future conversations. Um, and really get into kind of the whole biology versus psychology. Um, conversation. Uh, I don’t want to share with you kind of were some pivotal, pivotal lessons came to play for me that really helped kind of tip over the edge of some things. And so we’re going to dive into that on Thursday’s episode. Uh, biology versus psychology. I think it’d be cool conversation. Um, and other than that, you know, it’s glad to, I’m glad to be back. Life’s good. Feels good. I’m good. Thanks for checking in on me. I greatly appreciate it. Let’s get this thing rocking and rolling this year. I mean, let’s get this, let’s elevate our community collectively together. Let’s really step up our game and start being the example for others to follow.
Right? Let’s follow into some of the, the traits and the core things that we fundamentally believe we are and do. Let’s take those on. You know what I mean? If you look at the ranger creed and the sayings and the things that exist out there, I want to fully step into those, but I want to step in those in a way that, that enables us to live our whole life. Right. Operationally and otherwise and the family and with friends and you know, everything else. Cause it’s a, it’s time. Right? I think the time has come for that. So thank you for your patience. Thanks for staying connected. Thanks for all your notes. Um, and the feedback, it’s been phenomenal. I really, I appreciate it. Uh, I know over the last few weeks, several of you have been submitting in, um, uh, grants requests, uh, to get out to the departments this year.
So working through those, I’ll be in contact with you if I haven’t already, uh, to schedule some time, look at the need and look at how we can support you. And you know, other than that, uh, we’ve got the a hundred day program coming up in March. Couple of people that have already signed up and patiently waiting to get that thing kicked off in, which I would like to acknowledge you for publicly here and really appreciate your support in that. Um, uh, so if you, uh, have been thinking about that or want to do that or you know, interested in an navigating questions, let me know, uh, what all’s entailed. Um, but you can kind of check out the basis of the program, uh, on mindset radio. Just follow the banners over the a hundred day challenge. Uh, it’ll be a good start. You know, if you’re curious about a place to begin, uh, some of the work, I think it’ll be a really good place cause over those a hundred days, really the essence of it is understanding, um, and how to rewire the element.
Really at the end of the day, it’s how do you experience the feeling of winning, uh, in a new way that creeps into every aspect of your life. And so I really do hope that you’ll, uh, you’ll join me in that program. Uh, it’s a straight up donation. It’s run through the foundation. Uh, you can find all that stuff on mindset, radio.com not a problem. Uh, pop on over there. Uh, and you know, like I said, if you have any questions just let me know. So, Hey, I want to say thanks for hanging out with me today. You know, I had this one, I’ll leave you this one. I had this discovery over these last few weeks. Part of the, part of what prevented me from getting back on the air was this idea that nobody wanted to listen to. Just me. That if I didn’t have the guest structure, we didn’t have a solid program or we weren’t on track with what the calendar said.
Nobody cared. And so I had to get that shit out of my way. Uh, so you and I will be talking a little bit more. I had several people go, dude, I loved just loved the episodes when it’s just you and us. Uh, so hi. I’ve gotten that crap outta my way. Don’t have anything more about it. No problem. Hanging out talking with you. Um, cause I know you’re listening. You told me you’re listening and you’re out there. So thanks for that. And with that, we’re going to wrap today’s episode, uh, talking about opening Pandora’s box. So if you’re interested in doing that with me, let me know. Um, it’s been a wild ride. Uh, and it’ll be fun. So other than that, stay safe. Be great out there, be phenomenally operational and love the crap out of the people around you today. Like really have some appreciation for, uh, the people around you today, even if they’re a pain in the ass. Matter of fact, have some extra appreciation for that person. So, all right. Stay safe, be good. And we will talk to you on Thursday.
